Stupid Things
by julesgriffith
Summary: Centers around the origin of the Huddy desk. Starts during “Painless” and goes from there.
1. Chapter 1

**Stupid Things**

**by Jules**

A/N: This is my second Huddy fic and I'm attempting to do a chapter thing out of it. Feedback and constructive criticism welcomed.

**Synopsis:** Centers around the origin of the Huddy desk. Starts during "Painless" and goes from there.

CHAPTER 1

_Having grown bored of waiting for her in his own office, House now waited impatiently for her in her office. He had called her over two hours ago, and her response had been short, to the point, and completely unfocused._

_This was not her. Not the Dr. Lisa Cuddy he knew. _

_He leaned back against her new old desk, a gnawing sense of memory pestering him as he felt the solid oak wood beneath his fingers._

* * *

"I can't do this!" Lisa attempted to the throw the heavy textbook across the Shapiro Science Library, failing quit pitifully as it smacked her study desk in an anticlimactic thud.

"Don't worry. I'm sure I can find a position for you somewhere."

She didn't even look up as she heard the familiar voice. She had had a massive crush on him until he actually spoke to her at an Alpha Phi mixer he crashed on a rainy October evening. From that night on, they hadn't been able to have a conversation that didn't immediately morph into the verbal equivalent of a fist fight. "Go away, House."

"I thought you wanted my brilliance?" He waggled his eyebrows and finagled the book from her hands. "Organic chemistry? This stuff is basic, Lisa."

"Don't you have something to do? Cadavers to cut instead of me?" She looked at him pointedly.

He grinned at her. She was cute when she tried to be bossy and assertive. "Get your things. Come on."

"I have to study—" But he had already swept her books and papers up and was well on his way to the exit.

"You're not doing anything but slaying yourself with fear and idiotic guilt," he called over his shoulder. She sunk down in mortification as everyone in the library turned and looked at the infamous Gregory House, making another scene that unfortunately included her this time. "Get off your ass and come with me, you Debbie Sampson, you."

And there was nothing else to do but slink out of her chair, die of embarrassment, and follow him.

His apartment was different than the undergrad boys she dated. He had books everywhere—not just medical books, but books of travel, anthropology, world history, erotic novels. It was intimidating, to say the least. She considered herself a good student, but there was something exciting about being around a person who was brilliant, and much as her ego hated to admit it, someone who could teach her something.

Even if he was the biggest asshole she had ever met in her life.

"C'mere," House called from the opposite side of his living room.

But Cuddy stayed in place, her eyes glazing over his library collection. "You have so many books."

"Want to borrow one?" She nearly jumped as his snuck up behind her and whispered in her ear.

She jabbed him with her elbow, making him scoot back. But not forgetting his offer, "Really?"

"Sure. You'll die if you always have your snozz buried in science books." House grazed over his collection, his eyes twinkling as he spotted the perfect loan for her. "Here. Take this."

"_The __Delta of Venus_," she read the title slowly. He waited for recognition; happily there wasn't any.

"You read it?" He asked nonchalantly.

She shook her head innocently.

"Good. I think it'll help you." He grinned devilishly.

"What does that mean?" She scooted around him, skimming through the pages as if she were more interested in it than her sparring partner.

He looked directly at her, smiling knowingly. "'And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.'"

Her arm dropped, the book forgotten, and she glared at him. "You can't just say what you mean, can you?"

"I could, but it's much more fun to watch you get all sparky."

"I do _not _spark."

"Then I guess you just like me." He grinned, waiting for her to blush or get offended, but she just stood there defiantly, her eyes searching his, trying to figure him out.

"I—" He cut her off before she could start another tirade.

"Sparky. It's okay. I can't teach you everything in a day." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her across the room. "Come on. Sit. Open your book."

She stepped around the mahogany desk, again awestruck by its handsomeness. It sat in solitude against a large window, the only bright spot in his moody apartment.

"This desk is awesome." She ran her hand against the wood, feeling her hand all the way to the chair.

"Lisa." His hands slapped down on the front of the desk. "Are we going to study or would you rather play house?"

"House." She grinned at him, sitting in his desk chair, propping her feet up on his desk.

"Fine. My mom gave it to me when I got into John Hopkins," he sighed, his hands circling her ankles and lifting them off the desk.

"It's beautiful," she said softly. She knew about him getting kicked out, but they had never really discussed the details of his expulsion. She always assumed it was something he almost took pride in, but in this moment, she knew that it was anything but pride that he felt.

"And lookee-here!" He dropped her feet to the ground and flipped open her organic chemistry book. "It's yours to borrow for the next 4 hours."

She crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows. "Fine. Let's go. Give me your best shot."

* * *

Five and a half hours later, they sat close beside each other, sunlight from the window gone, House's desk lamp casting shadows over notes and equations and formulas. House took a deep breath, his leg cramping under the desk. He had never studied this long or consistently…ever. But there was something fascinating about watching her grapple with each new problem, trying to find the answer, guessing, getting it right, getting it wrong. He had never seen anyone put so much effort into her work, especially a sophomore struggling with organic chemistry. Eighteen people in his class had dropped their pre-med major because of this class, but he didn't dare tell her. He couldn't decide if it was because she was so determined, or because he could see straight down her shirt from their close proximity.

He cleared his throat, realizing it was time to move on to the next problem. "The pKas of H2CO3 are 6.4 and 10.3. The pKa of HOBr is 8.7. If equimolar amounts of Na2CO3 and HOBr are dissolved in water what will be the predominant anionic species in the resulting solution?"

Dark curls fell in her eyes as she scribbled on her notebook. Her face was flushed, and he realized they had gone this entire time without eating anything. Just as he was about to suggest delivery, she placed her pencil down and passed the problem over to him for inspection. "Um….Check it….CO3-2 and 2 BrO-1…. Is that right?"

He looked at her pale skin and tired blue eyes. They had been doing this too long. He picked up her pencil, ready to order pizza and introduce her to his sofa. "Close, don't add here though… you need to….see? HCO3-1 and BrO-1 . Hydrogen stays. Make sense?"

She sighed and covered her eyes in frustration.

"Maybe I'm not meant to be a doctor." That's when it happened. House slapped her cheek hard; it wouldn't leave a mark, but it certainly made her wake up.

They stared at each other, both shocked out of their textbook lethargy.

"What—? House, you…you just hit me," she stated obviously, almost not believing it.

"I'll do it again too. Take it back," he growled at her. He was angry now. They had spent _all evening_ studying. He had spent almost six hours pressed against her, initially he thought to score with the hot undergrad, but now he was just pissed off. She was _better _than this.

"I should go. I can't be around someone—" Tears sprang to her eyes, reacting instantly to the shock and hurt.

He dropped the pencil down and shut the book. "I never thought you'd be like everyone else. But if you can live with mediocrity, then you should go."

"I'm not like you, House," she admitted hoarsely, "I can't just read it once and know everything. Some of us have to study!"

"Then study it and read it twenty five times if you have to, damn it."

"You're a jerk." She grabbed the book and stood from the desk.

"Maybe, but I'm doing exactly what I want. Can you say the same, Lisa?" He asked, waiting. She hesitated only for a second before she ran out of his apartment.

"Go to hell."

He watched the door slam, knowing she would never be back.

****

_House inhaled sharply as she barreled into the room, clearly put out with him. He met her angry eyes; she didn't want to be here, so he launched into his case, choosing to ignore her feelings. "I need to cut off a guy's head. I gotta figure out if his pains coming from brain or his body. A stiff shot of latican below the brain stem should numb him all the way down to his tippy-toes."_

_She turned around and walked straight out the way she came, stopping at the door. "And hearing me say no over the phone wasn't good enough?"_

_"I'm inconveniencing you because you inconvenience me," he threw her earlier words back in her face._

_"You know that foster care official is coming in the morning."_

_"If there weren't, there would be no inconvenience." He couldn't help the bitterness in his words, but the way she was acting wasn't natural. It wasn't them._

_"Do not try to force and me to choose between my child and—"_

_"I'm forcing you to do your job. If you can't also—" He cut her off before she could say it. They didn't have a relationship; they weren't an us. He just needed her to be here._

_But she wasn't. And he had no idea how to get her back._

*****

The knock was so tentative he almost didn't answer the door. But there she was, standing there, her white shirt and jean skirt now rumpled from the day. He peered into her uncertain eyes and knew his method of attack. "I thought you'd be halfway to Admissions by now. You'd be a great nurse, Lisa."

She shook her head, not prepared for what he had to say. "Wait a minute. First you_ slap_ me because I miss a problem—"

"That's not what happened—" He turned around, leading her back into his apartment.

"And then you tell me I'll be a great nurse? What were the last five hours about?" She dropped her bag and books on the floor. "I'm not sleeping with you, House."

"6 hours," he corrected, leaning against the desk.

"What?" She pushed a fallen curl out of her face.

"it was 6 hours, and when did I say anything about sleeping together?" He tilted his head, peering at her condescendingly, making her feel all of her nineteen years and not a day over.

She swallowed nervously, wondering if the idea was something that had ever had any basis or if it had just manifested itself from his reputation. "No."

"No." He reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. She stared at their hands, felt the closing space between them. He had said no, but his hands clearly said yes.

"You don't say anything you mean," she said wisely, unknowing how right she was.

"Do you? Are you really quitting?" He asked quietly, slipping his fingers through her belt loops, holding her captive now.

She didn't know what do to with her hands. They were against his chest because of proximity, but she didn't know whether to move them or not. "I don't know," answering his and her questions.

"You'll be brilliant." Cuddy tore her eyes away from his shirt and looked into his eyes. She had no idea what he wanted. It could be the sweetest of lies or the brutal truth; she had no way of knowing. But standing there with him, with his own certainty, she knew she wanted to find out.

Her heels dropped to the floor as she stood up on her tippy-toes.

"Really think so?"

House nodded and pulled her between his legs.

"Yeah."

"Liar." She grinned as their lips met slowly in a first kiss that lasted so long it took them twice as long to find her shoes when it was over.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for all the great feedback! All of the present stuff is completely unoriginal—that's David Shore and Co.'s brilliance. It's just there to illuminate the past/foil it. The book they are reading from at the end is The _Delta of Venus_ by Anais Nin. The excerpt is from "The Hungarian Adventurer."

**Stupid Things**

**Chapter 2**

A giant shadow loomed over her notes on The Hückel Rule. "What are you doing here?" She didn't look up at him to check. He was the biggest person she knew, literally and figuratively.

"Bringing you a jelly donut." He held out the powdery dough concoction to her proudly.

"The test is in fifteen minutes, House! Don't you have rounds this morning?" She said with a mouthful of raspberry and powder already in her mouth. She wanted to be mad at him, but she had forgotten to eat breakfast and was starving.

House shrugged nonchalantly and sat beside her on the bench. "Skipping it."

"House!" She took another bit and attempted cover her ravenous mouth.

"You needed a jelly donut," he stated matter-of-factly, staring at her in a way that made her forget that he wasn't a serious human being and nothing he did could be taken to heart, despite how damn sweet it was or how cute he looked when he remembered to shave in the morning.

"I can't concentrate with you looking at me like that." She tried to focus on her notes, but her tongue slipped out and caught the rim of powder around her mouth she had left behind in her feast.

"Like what?" He edged closer to her, the side of his face hovering over her shoulder.

She muffled her grin as she tried to concentrate on the Hydrogen and Oxygen links. She felt his breath on the side of her neck. She held her breath, oxygen forgotten. "Like you know what."

"I wanna hear you say it."

She dropped her notebook and kissed him impulsively in the crowded, strangely intimate hallway. It was a brief kiss, but one that carried punch, waking them both up. He stared at her again, in that way, that stupid way. God, he was _distracting_. "If I fail this test because of you—"

"You won't. I'm in your head now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. If you are one hundred percent certain of an answer and your gut is telling you to go with it, _ignore it_, then think of me and what I would do, and that'll be the right answer." He smiled cheekily.

"I'm astounded by your modesty and self-deprecation." She gathered her notes and headed towards the lecture hall, officially ignoring him now.

Just as she was about open the door, his arms swung around her waist, catching her. He whispered in her ear, "You know this stuff, Lise. You don't need to study anymore."

She leaned into him for a second. "Be here when I get out?" She asked just to hear what he would say.

He nodded wordlessly against her. She opened the door and exhaled, CO2 everywhere.

* * * *

"I did it!" Cuddy flung her arms around neck, and he lifted her off the ground almost whimsically. She pulled back and dangled from his arms, swaying a like a rag doll. "I knew everything."

"Whose voice did you listen to?" He asked, smiling because she was.

She punched his chest and fell down to her feet, still hanging on to his arms. "My own, you idiot. I didn't need yours, but thank you for your help."

"Anytime. So…" He eyed the emptying hallway. His excuses to spend time with her were almost bankrupt.

"So," she answered, knowing he was thinking what she was. Studying had been their crutch from the beginning. Now, they had to socialize like well-adjusted, normal people. She wasn't sure either of them was up for it.

He cleared his throat. "Big plans to celebrate?"

She shrugged, looking down at her feet, sliding them back and forth in a rainbow pattern. "My sorority is having a thing."

House's eyes twinkled mischievously. _This_ he could handle. "Ah, a bunch of girlies braiding each others' hair and telling their deepest darkest secrets in nothing but their bras and unmentionables? I'm down."

She scoffed at him. "It's a dance, House. No unmentionables mentioned."

"Damn," he grimaced. "I don't really do dances."

He felt like an asshole when he saw her force a smile.

"It's okay. I'll just go with someone else."

* * * *

_House burst into his new boss's office, only to find Cuddy there, casually dressed, in something she would have worn to one of those things she used to drag him—_

_But he couldn't think about that. She wasn't here anymore. She certainly wasn't his boss now. _

"_So it looks like you guys are in the middle of a conversation. I can wait till Cuddy leaves." He limped over to the chair, owning the space, taking control from both of his superiors in the room. He focused on Cuddy out of habit. "You are gonna leave soon, aren't you? The nurses have your baby out there. Not that they would kidnap her or anything, but I figure a new mother brings her baby to work means she wants to listen to all the cooing…."_

"_If you're gonna wait you can wait outside," Cameron butted in. House didn't budge. She didn't have a shot in hell at this job. _

"_Unless the new mother brings the baby to work because she wants to dump the baby. Because she hates the baby. Because she thinks she made a big mistake." He watched her face, tired and pained, knowing he had gotten to her. "Can't trust that Wilson guy with anything!"_

_Never mind the fact that he had harassed, badgered, and threatened Wilson until he had told him every detail about his visit to Cuddy's. _

_Cameron broke professional protocol, reaching out to the other woman. "Lisa, are you—" _

"_It's not a big deal. I was having a bad day." Cuddy was mortified. He knew it. He was winning. She would crumble soon, and things would go back to normal. _

"_Is Wilson going to be in trouble?" He asked petulantly. _

"_For betraying my trust in a vulnerable time?" Wounded sarcasm dripped from her lips. "No! Why would that bother me?" _

"_He was worried. He made a bad choice," he said quietly, her fragility chipping away at him like a thin toothpick. _

_He looked at her seriously now. This was it. _

"_It's not a big deal. It seems like crap. You probably feel like crap, but it's not. You haven't adopted her yet. No obligations, no strings attached. You could give her up tomorrow. Emotionally, you'll feel guilty for a while, but she's a kid. She won't even know you existed." It would have been diplomatic if it hadn't been so cruel. _

_She took in what he said, like she always did for some stupid reason, tears held back in her eyes. _

"_You're saying I should give her back?"_

"_It's better than having a mother who doesn't give a crap," he said, brutally honest. _

"_Thanks. I'm just gonna go drop her off at the pound." _

_Again, she was gone. _

* * * *

Her phone had rung eight times. Nobody washed her hair that long. His thumbs taped against the payphone anxiously. He couldn't believe he was doing this; he pulled his flask out and too another chug of confidence.

"Hello?" She finally answered breathlessly.

"Do you have a date yet?" He asked gruffly.

"House? He's on his way—"

"Cancel," he said, no, _demanded_.

"What?" She pulled a hot roller out of her hair, freezing in the middle of her dorm room. "I can't cancel!"

"Yes, you can. You're going to the dance with me. Cancel." Click. Chug.

"House?" The dial tone mocked her. "House!"

Suddenly, a bright knock sounded at her door. "Lisa, David's downstairs!"

"Shit."

* * * *

"Can I cut in?" House didn't wait for an answer; his arms slid possessively around her waist and pulled her away from the generically handsome undergrad.

"Excuse me—" The young man tried to take his date back to no avail; her arms were already wrapped around the intruder's neck.

House invaded Cuddy's personal space, pulling her flush against him, leaving no room for air or protest. "Where'd you find this guy, Lisa? I didn't take you for the male escort type, but—"

"Are you drunk, House?" She questioned hotly, not letting him pull her any closer.

He spun her around haphazardly. "Don't like my dance moves?"

She frowned at him. His eyes were bloodshot and he was sweating profusely. "You look like hell."

He stopped moving, his head bobbing as if it wasn't attached to the rest of his body. "I was thinking about you, on the dance floor, wearing a dress pretty damn close to what you have on. I didn't get the strapless part though. The strapless…well, that's _good_. It shows off everything, you, the dress, your gorgeous breasts…"

He stumbled backwards and she caught him, not letting him fall.

"House—"

She held his head still has he continued, "And I thought, why should some other idiot get to dance with you and get a hard-on against you when he doesn't even have a clue how amazing…how….how…"

His forehead dropped against hers.

She caressed the side of his face, her palm soaking his sweat into her skin.

"I'm taking you home."

* * * *

_She was at his office door, the baby in her arms, __**lovingly**__. _

_A smile stretched across on her face. _

_Light filled her voice. _

"_Move your feet."_

_He looked at them, at what was their world now. He wasn't going to move his feet for that damn baby. _

"_You decided to keep her. Thank you for telling me. You can go now." _

_But she didn't. There were staying, and his feet moved involuntarily, making room for the two of them. _

"_I talked to her," she confided in him, "We connected."_

"_You talked at her. You had a chemical reaction." _

"_You trying to annoy me?" She asked, feeling him out. _

"_I'm trying to explain you." Or really—understand her: it was as though she had figured out his secret and wouldn't tell him what it was. _

"_I know it doesn't make any sense, but it was real. It was there. You wanna hold her?" She asked suddenly. House rolled his eyes. He was not holding the kid. He wasn't doing it. _

"_Come say hi," Cuddy cooed at the baby. _

_Cuddy arms stretched out with the pink bundle. He had the gnawing suspicion this was a test, a plea for approval. _

_Well, he couldn't just drop the baby. _

_Not intentionally._

"_Think we'll bond?" He jested as he took the soft, moldy thing in his two hands. _

_He could feel Cuddy's eyes on them. _

_He could feel her smile radiating across the room, infecting him slowly with its warmth._

_He could feel… projectile baby vomit all over his neck, oozing down his semi-clean white shirt._

_Cuddy laughed and he forgot to be angry. He faked a sour expression. "Is that cute?"_

"_A little." She grinned as she padded his shirt and took her baby back. _

"_If I threw up on you, you'd be pissed," he said, breaking the rules and letting a hint of the past rise in his voice. _

"_You puke isn't as cute." But she wouldn't go there. _

* * * *

Cuddy flung his weighty arm off her shoulder as soon as they stepped through his apartment door. "What the hell was that about? You said you didn't want to go with me to the dance!"

House shuffled across the room and leaned on his desk, the painful affects of sobriety taking their toll. "I said I _can't_ dance. Big difference."

She walked into the shadows of the room, dropping her voice, meeting him halfway. "We didn't have to dance," she said quietly.

He turned his head, smiling sadly at her. She absolutely glowed without knowing it. She was the picture of youth, beautiful in her own way, alive. "You're not the kind of girl who sits around and drinks punch, Lisa. Girls like you _move_."

"I would have for you."

"And you would have been miserable." They both knew it was true.

She crossed the space, closing the space between them, confronting him.

She wasn't ready to give up on him.

"So why did you come if we're both going to be miserable?" He kissed her then, as if they had danced all night and it had been earned; or because they hadn't and he wanted to give her something wild and dangerous to talk about with her girlfriends the next day; but truthfully, because he didn't know what else to do to make her stay.

"You taste like scotch," she mumbled against his aggressive lips. His hands slid across her bare back, massaging her muscles into submission as he deftly unzipped the back of her dress.

She gasped as she felt his hands going lower, exposing her skin to the air.

She wasn't a virgin, but he made her feel like she didn't know what the hell she was doing.

He put his hand on her stomach and pushed her backwards. "Bedroom."

She put her hands on his chest, instinctively shaking her head. "Not like this… Not when you're…"

"Lisa—" His voice was desperate and low.

"Um…." She pulled away from him, her eyes closed and her lips buzzing. "Read to me."

The fabric waned as he pulled her zipper all the wall down to the bottom stop. She held the dress up with her hands. A gasp passed between them. "Let it fall."

"That…ah…" She took a step back, her cheeks crimson as his eyes willed her hands to lose their grip. She swallowed, resolved. "That book you gave me…I have it…read some of it to me."

* * * * *

They sat close, barely touching as House read from _The Delta of Venus_. Cuddy hadn't known what it was; reading had been the only thing she could think of at the moment to stop them from doing something they would regret.

She didn't realize she had asked him to read her one of the most famous erotica writers of the twentieth century.

"'There, on request, she knelt before a man, unbuttoned his pants, took his penis in her jeweled hands, and with a neatness of touch, an expertness, a subtlety few women had ever developed, sucked at it until he was satisfied. Her two hands were as active as her mouth.'"

House let out a labored sigh, shifted, and reached for her curled leg. She slapped his hand away.

"I will kill you if you touch me right now," she said stealthily, her nerves in a tight bundle, completely turned on from the words and his husky voice. "Go on," she said meekly.

He scowled at her, shifting again uncomfortably. "'The _titillation_ almost deprived each man of his senses. The elasticity of her hands; the variety of rhythms; the change from a hand grip of the entire penis to the lightest touch of the tip of it, from firm kneading of all the parts to the lightest teasing of the hair around it—all this by an exceptionally beautiful and voluptuous woman while the attention of the public was turned towards the stage. Seeing the penis go into her magnificent mouth between her flashing teeth, while her breasts heaved, gave men a pleasure for which they paid generously.'"

He let the book fall for a second and leaned back, shutting his eyes.

She watched him suspiciously. "Would you ever sleep with a prostitute?"

"What makes you think I haven't?" He kept his eyes closed.

"I don't know. It's stupid." She turned forward, feeling suddenly inadequate. "Let me read for a bit."

She grabbed the book from him. He opened his eyes and watched her read.

"'Her presence on the stage prepared them for her appearance in the boxes. She provoked them with her mouth, her eyes, her breasts. And to have their satisfaction, along with music and lights and singing in a dark, half-curtained box above the audience, was an exceptionally piquant form of amusement.'"

She kept her eyes on the page, making a decision, not daring to look at him. "I'll do it if you want me to. If that'll keep you—"

"Lisa." He put a gentle hand over hers, stopping her.

"What?" Her heart was racing.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone else," he admitted softly. Then, feeling brave again, he put his arm around her. "Read. I gotta get off somehow since you're not putting out tonight."

She grinned at him and cuddled into his shoulder.

"'The Baron almost fell in love with Anita and stayed with her for a longer time than with any woman. She fell in love with him and bore him two children.'"

House threw back his head dramatically. "Damn it. I forgot about that part. I'm going to take a shower. Be here when I get back?"

"Sure, if I can steal one of you shirts." She plucked at the one he was wearing.

"Goddamn it." He kissed her fiercely, pressing her back into the cushions of his couch. He pulled away first. "Cold shower. Cold."

She watched him leave the room, a silly grin playing at her lips. She turned back to the story as she heard the water running.

"'But after a few years he was off again. The habit was too strong; the habit of freedom and change.'"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for all the great feedback! Please keep reading and reviewing! This chapter took a little longer for me to write because I actually had to research some of it. I have a ton of respect for the show writers now.

**Stupid Things**

**Chapter 3**

"Come in." The door whirled open, and House nearly yanked her arm off as he pulled her inside his apartment. "Come in, come in!"

"How many coffees have you had?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"Not a one." He pulled her into his lap, not even giving her time to disrobe her coat and hat.

"What's got you so excited?" She instinctively put her arms around his neck, infected by his good mood.

"Roberts brought me in on a case. The entire team, Bennet, Erhling, that idiot Calder thought it was bone cancer. But it wasn't. Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva."

"It's a bone growth deformity, isn't it?" Cuddy frowned. She vaguely remembered reading an article about it; and while scientifically fascinating and strange, the humanist in her couldn't deny her horror or how disturbing it was that House seemed _happy_ about the diagnosis.

"It's rare—only a few cases worldwide." His eyes flashed and his breathing quickened.

"And you diagnosed it? You can help the patient? House, that's—"

He paused; he hadn't allowed himself to think that far ahead. "…no. There's no effective treatment. We can't remove the excess bones. The most we can do for him is give him medication for the pain and inflammation for the rest of his life."

"That's… something, at least." Cuddy's hands slid off his neck, and her eyes fell to her lap.

He picked her hands back up, lifting her eyes again. "It's shit. What kind of life is that? You should have seen the look on their idiotic faces though, Lisa. It was almost worth the diagnosis."

She pushed away from him and stood up, walking towards his desk. She crossed her arms and began to pace. "What's the point in being right if you can't do anything to help him?"

House scoffed, "Who doesn't like being right? If you were going to die, wouldn't you want to know what was killing you?"

Cuddy shrugged. "In the end, I'd be dead either way. It's not the _what_; it's the_ how_."

House smiled and stood up. He walked across the room towards her. His hands slid up her arms until they were caressing her throat. "If I killed you, you wouldn't want to know it was me?"

"_No_."

"I don't believe you." His eyes darkened daringly and he let his fingers circle her neck completely. She didn't move, didn't blink. She looked into his eyes with absolute, complete trust.

He flinched.

"I wouldn't want to hate you the last sixty seconds of my life, Dr. House."

"I'm a carcinogen." His eyebrows waggled, releasing the tension in the room and creating a new one as he moved his hands down to the sides of her breasts.

"House." Her forehead dropped against his chest, leaning into his hypnotic touch.

"And what lovelies they are, Mistress Cuddy," he whispered into her ear, letting his thumbs stretch across her hardened nipples.

"The better to see you with, you _wolf_," she exhaled and kissed him deeply, encouraging the pressure and pace of his caress across layers of annoying clothing.

He pulled away suddenly, his eyes flashing cockily. "Hypocrite. You _would_ want to know."

She smiled in acquiescence. "I don't think cancer feels like this, House."

She traced his fingers that clung to her heavy skin.

"No." He flicked her top button loose and pushed her back against the desk, her feet dangling as he stepped between he legs. "This is good ole fashion _molestation_."

* * * *

_He barreled into her office like he always did, but she wasn't going to give him the first word. She wasn't going to give him an inch. She wasn't going to give him anything but shit. _

"_Come here. Look at this. Come here," she said in her best employer-to-employee-you-are-the lesser voice. _

_He did as he was told and limped around the desk and stared at the thing. "Adorable. Elevators keep crashing. Is mercury in retrograde or what?" _

"_Elevators can be capricious. Sometimes it just seems like they're out to get ya," she said nonchalantly, her attention quickly taken by Rachel, who was discovering new things by the minute, now seeming to be the first and foremost baby to invent hide and seek. "She keeps playing with the blanket. Why would she do that?" _

"_Why would you think the elevators would be out to get me?" House was undeterred, removing himself from the desk, from her maternal haze of domesticity. _

_Her voice reeked of false innocence, "I don't know. Maybe they wanted to take time off to spend with their little dumbwaiter. But then they had to leave them home with an elevator sitter because you drove the replacement elevator to quitting because you're incapable of listening to anyone but me." She glared at him, unable to maintain the metaphor, her fury boiling beneath the surface of her icy veneer. "But that's just a theory." _

"_You're wrong. I don't even listen to you," he shot back, but they both knew that was a bold faced lie. Her opinion, in the end, was the one that mattered most. It was why he was here. Why he stayed. Why he wouldn't let her be happy. "Either do your job or go home. Leave me out of it."_

"_I am going to do my job. Doesn't mean I have to do it happily. Doesn't mean I have to do it without resentment. It definitely doesn't me I have to do it without seeking vengeance on the person making me be here." They locked eyes, knowing how complicated and messy it was, how everything was unspoken yet permanent, their silent agreement of forever. "Congratulations. You've officially dragged me down to your level." _

_There were only two ways to go, and they had already done the first. _

"_Okay," he agreed. He knew how to get what he wanted without throwing stones. _

* * * *

_Clank. Clank._

_Clank. Clank. Clank. _

As another _clank_ banged the window glass next to her head, Cuddy opened her eyes. She pushed her covers back and stepped onto the hard floor. She looked out her window, seeing him standing there, shivering without a coat on.

She lifted the window frame and stuck her head out. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to see you. Can I come up?" He blew air into his hands, trying to warm them.

Cuddy looked to her left, Carol Ann's hand dangled off the side of the twin bed, a soft snore coming from her pillow. "My roommate's asleep."

"Come outside. We'll go to my place."

Cuddy bit her lip. She was exhausted with their schedule, his night rounds and her day classes. She didn't know how long she could keep this up. "House, I need to sleep. I have a biology exam tomorrow."

House shrugged, almost indifferent. "Okay. I'll go."

Idiotic panic seized her, and she chastised herself immediately as she heard the words escape her mouth, "House! Wait. I'm coming."

She threw on her coat, slipped on her shoes without any socks, and grabbed her keys. The air was frigid as she opened the side door to her dorm, and immediately regretted going outside.

He waited for her by the courtyard fountain, his fingers weaved behind his head in meditation. As she approached him, he lifted his eyes and drew her into his arms. "Hey."

His grip was tighter than usual. She pulled away and looked at him, instinctively examining him. "What's up? House, your eyes—"

House shook his head and mumbled rapidly, "The medication's not working. I had to watch him scream for three hours. He…um…started talking and he wants me to…He asked me to…"

"House." She held the side of his face. "Look at me. It's okay."

"He wants me to help him die, Lisa," he confessed.

Cuddy's body fell rigid. Her reaction was instantaneous. "You can't. You said no, right? _Right_, House?"

He began to pace the length of the fountain again. "Maybe I misdiagnosed him. Maybe there's still a possibility—"

"You were so certain." She caught his hands, stilling him.

"If I'm right, I don't see what choice I have."

She didn't know what to say to him. She had never been in this situation before, faced with life and death. Legal and religious arguments flew through her mind, but words failed her. She shook her head, tears threatening as she felt herself failing him. "It's…it's just not right, House."

"What would _you_ do?" He asked her, his voice raw, tired, and uncertain.

"I-I wouldn't stop with the easy way out. I didn't think you would either."

House shook his head and looked away from her. "You haven't seen him, Lise."

"House, you can't deal with this by yourself. Talk to Roberts. Tell him—"

"I gotta go." He let go of her hand and started to walk away.

"House, where are you going?" Cuddy ran after him, her heart racing, panicked. He had come to her. _To her._

"I'll call you later." He didn't look back.

* * * *

_She sat in front of him spinning his cane like the guilty thief she was. As he approached her, she held it out to him impishly, "I found this. In the..,, ah…,coat closet….where I hid it." _

"_Thought I'd never see you again, little, little Greg." He spoke to it, vaguely daring to taunt her. "Yeah, you heard me right."_

_He sat down next to her, thankful this battle was over. Tension released from her body as she exhaled, "You are who you are. It's annoying, but it's not you're fault. It isn't about you. I'm sorry." _

_Her apology landed softly, and he accepted it for a split second. But sitting there with her in comfort, in uncertainty was too much. "Because you were doing this job perfectly until the baby came along." _

"_What? I'm apologizing. Can't you just accept my apology?" _

"_I accept," he said curtly, "Are we going to have to do this dance again in 28 days?" _

"_What the hell's wrong with you?" She asked for what seemed like the thousandth time since the day they met._

"_Yesterday you hate me. Today you're practically weeping on my shoulder. I can only assume that what I'm hearing is your Aunt Flo telling me—" Suddenly, he got up, realization hitting him. _

_He felt her following him and he quickened his step. He had her attention again. _

"_When I was being a jerk you suddenly act human, but when I act human you turn back into a jerk!" _

_He slapped the up button on the elevator and spun around. "Guess our cycles aren't matched up yet." _

"_This is your way of saying you accept my apology, isn't it?" She asked, one step behind him. _

_He would never let her know that there wasn't an answer to her question. The point had always been to keep her one step behind. _

"_Nope. This is my way of saying you were doing a crappy job before, you'll do a slightly crappier job now. Everything keeps going. Nature of life. Nature of parenthood." _

"_Or this whole thing is just an act. And you've gone back to the part you think you need to play," she said, closer to his heels. _

"_You should go talk to Wilson," he deflected, pushing her back to her rightful corner. "Rationalization man needs a faithful sidekick. Now rational man needs to go save a life." _

_She grinned at him knowingly, and he was thankful she couldn't see the back of his heels. _

* * * *

Her biology exam started 15 minutes ago.

But she wasn't in the lecture hall. She was in the lobby of the University Hospital.

"Hi, I'm looking for Dr. Gregory House," she asked the receptionist. "Is he here?"

The woman nodded her head slowly, clearly still on the nightshift. "He's been called into the E.R., miss. Waiting room's just through there."

She walked down the hall towards the waiting room, but stopped as she saw him standing by the large glass windows, dressed in scrubs.

She stepped behind him, almost reaching out.

She didn't. She said his name instead. "House."

He didn't turn around. "It's done. He's dead."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for all the feedback and your patience. I got stumped on this chapter, mainly because I haven't quite wrapped my mind around where TPTB are taking Huddy. But, I'm happy to say, that after seeing that teeny, tiny scene in "The Social Contract," my faith has been restored. Enjoy! Feedback is loved and appreciated.

**Stupid Things**

**Chapter 4**

He didn't speak to her for a month after the suicide.

He wouldn't answer her phone calls and never answered the door when she came to his apartment.

It was for the best, he reasoned. She missed her biology exam because of him and was now in danger of losing her scholarship. He was only screwing up her life.

Their separation would have gone on indefinitely if his sweet tooth hadn't been irritating him one dismal Friday night.

"House," she said his name crisply, approaching him without hesitation. His body went rigid and he didn't move from the box of Mallomars he was attacking at the corner street bodega. When he finally turned to look at her, he was unable to maintain the static emptiness in his eyes he had perfected in her absence.

However, his effort was valiant.

"_Cuddy_," he replied impersonally.

She took a deep breath. "It's good to see you."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "I thought you would've gotten the picture by now."

She stepped forward, invading his space. "You're a part of my life, no matter what happens."

He threw down the Mallomar and pushed his way around her. "You're so naïve."

She grabbed his hand, stopping him. "House."

He looked down at their joined hands, hers delicate in his, soft and right. He grimaced as his thumb accidentally skimmed across her flesh. "You can't see what's missing from this?"

Cuddy spoke patiently, "You're upset. You screwed up. It happens, House."

He squeezed her hand to the point of pain. "It _happens_?! I couldn't help a man so I _watched_ him die."

"It's not your fault!"

"There were options. I could have kept my fat mouth shut during the differential. I could have told someone besides a _stupid 19 year old_ that my patient was suicidal."

"You didn't kill him, House. You _didn't_," she said ardently, tears springing to her eyes as he gripped her hand tighter.

He smiled sadly at her blind faith in him. "What makes you think that?"

"Because you would have never told a stupid 19 year old if you didn't do everything to save him."

He released her hand, disgusted with himself. "You don't know me at all."

"I do. I—"

"Hey, Lisa! Hurry up!" An obnoxious yell came from Cuddy's Pontiac Trans AM.

House did a double take as he looked at the silly, drunken high schooler hanging out of the passenger's window. "Looks like your car got hijacked by Pippi Long Stockings."

"It's just my sister. She can wait. I want to tal—"

House stepped closer to her and instinctively tilted her chin up. "Have you been drinking tonight?"

"What do you care?" Cuddy tried to push his hand away, but he wouldn't let her go.

"Lisa…"

"Don't give me that look when I've had to clean up after your wasted ass before!" She closed her eyes and exhaled as he kept staring at her concernedly. "I'm fine."

"Fine. But if you're going to do it, you're coming back to my place." He took her hand in his, not letting her argue, not giving himself enough time to protest.

It wasn't that he missed her, but if she was acting stupid because of him, then he had to take responsibility for her. His fingers tightened around her smaller ones.

No, he didn't miss her at all.

***

_"You doing anything Friday?" She asked casually, however prepared herself for their inevitable spar._

_"I'm taking a lovely young lady to the Philharmonic," House said glibly, avoiding her eyes._

_Honestly, he never thought that far ahead. It was too depressing._

_"Is that your way of saying you're having sex with a hooker?" Her expression unaffected, however, she couldn't help but remember the mysterious blonde standing in his office, a smile on her face that she recognized. That woman had known House intimately, albeit only for a few hours._

_She hated herself for being jealous._

_Even more so for being hopeful._

_"Two. Can't create a harmonic with just one." He hoped that worked; that whatever she was about to ask him, she would be too hurt or shocked to speak now._

_However, her train wreck kept coming._

_"Well, I was hoping you'd might be available for Rachel's Simchat bat. It's a—"_

_"Jewish baby naming ceremony, a time-honored tradition dating all the way back to the 1960s," House recited as if Wikepedia was chipped into his brain._

_"My house at 7:00. It'll just be the Rabbi and a few friends and some family."_

_House pruned his face theatrically. This wasn't like her; they never did anything normal together, let alone with her family and friends. And her family…we'll he would prefer to forget spending any time with them period._

_"Nothing like welcoming a baby into the world with a completely naked display of hypocrisy," he deflected, aiming his attack at the event verses the idea of spending an evening together._

_"They'll be plenty of wine and nice people you can quietly mock," she said, not admitting to herself why she ordered the extra case of Merlot. Drinking had always made everything easier between them._

_"Wish I could. But I already put down a deposit on 16 crates of jello." He escaped into the elevator. Her words and the image of them sitting together followed him, alone on her couch after the had left, her knees curling up in his lap and her face tilted just enough so…_

_She stopped the elevator. "House. It's one evening. I'd like you to be there."_

_"Religious Hokem. Get sponge bath. Can I get back to you?" The elevator shut in her face, but he didn't stop holding his breath till he reached the 4th Floor._

***

"So Lis," Pippi popped her head in between House and Cuddy, now removed to the back seat of the car, "why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?"

"Cause he's not my boyfriend," Cuddy said pointedly, eyeing House as he drove them back to his place.

"Whatever. I'm telling mom and dad!"

"You won't tell them anything!" Cuddy spun around jabbed a finger in her little sister's face.

She grinned like a Cheshire cat and caught House's eyes through the rearview mirror. "Is he good in bed?" She asked loudly.

"Stop it, Cara!" Cuddy gritted her teeth, her face flushed with anger. "That's none of your business."

Cara Cuddy, in all of her sixteen-year-old wisdom, looked suspiciously between the two of them.

"What? You _don't_ know?" Cara's mouth dropped as crickets passed between House and Cuddy, neither one of them willing to answer. "You don't! Well, maybe I should find out and get back to you on that—"

"Don't you _dare_."

"Mighty possessive considering he's not you're boyfriend." Cara looked back in the rearview mirror, catching House's eyes. She grinned mischievously at him.

***

_House saw her get into the elevator, his conversation with Wilson fresh on his mind. He couldn't believe her; she had always been a crafty shrew, but this was a new low blow for the she-devil. "Let's see. How do I keep House from ruining my precious display of religious hypocrisy? I know. I'll pressure him to attend, knowing he'll never agree to anything I actually want him to do."_

_Their eyes met sideways; she was totally caught._

_"I didn't pressure you; I invited you. And there's nothing hypocritical about recognizing your heritage."_

_"Keeping kosher now? Wearing four corner garments? Slaughters heifers to the god Rah? Wait, is that one of your people? Do it all, do nothing, or option C: you're a liar and a hypocrite." And he was pissed. It was bad enough that she wanted him there. That was typical. But not wanting him there? Despising his presence? That wasn't part of the rules, and she knew it._

_She turned to him, freezing his zinger, and looked at him with soft acceptance. "House, for better or worse, you are a part of my life. It isn't a ploy. It's a sincere invitation, and I want you to come."_

_His voice suddenly low and hitched, he said with a tepid smile, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."_

_Now she was the one to inhale. She held her breath as she exited the elevator. "I'm glad."_

_She turned around, lies and truths jumbled together on her tongue._

***

Bored by their long looks and slow sips of Corona, Cara jumped up from the table with her empty beer bottle in hand. "Wanna play spin the bottle, you two?"

"Tell me again why you invited 'Lil Sis to stay with you for the weekend?" House grimaced as the girl's hands clamped down over his shoulders.

"My parents hate me."

"Ah."

Cara leaned on House's shoulder. "House, you have to play. I can't kiss my sister, so you'll have to take turns kissing both of us."

House smiled at the lesser Cuddy. "Jailbait, sweetheart."

"Is that the excuse you gave my sister too?" Cara smiled wickedly at her sister.

"That's it. You're outta here. Go wait in the car for me." Cuddy jumped out of her chair, true authority in her voice.

"I'm going to call mom!" Cara whined.

"Lots of good an empty house and answering machine will do you."

"Bitch," Cara spat in Cuddy's face.

"OUT!" Cara huffed and grabbed Cuddy's car keys off of the table.

As she slammed the door behind her, House twisted his face. "Good to know I'm not the only one with a screwed up family."

"She just wants attention," Cuddy said, staring at him, knowing she was only talking about herself.

"Makes sense. Gotta be pretty hard to have a perfect sister." House stood up from the table. He stepped closer to her and pushed a loose curl behind her ear.

"You're such a liar." Pain etched across both of their faces, knowing the truth. They were terrible for each other.

He began to kiss her anyway.

***

_"Hey!" He said with false cheerfulness as she made a beeline down the hall. "I was just talking about you. Not you, specifically. Whores and hypocrisy."_

_She stopped in the middle of the hallway, the jig up. She couldn't play games with him anymore._

_He would never change._

_No, it wasn't that he would never change—he would never go back._

_"You were right. I don't want you there. It's a special occasion filled with love and acceptance, and the last thing I need is someone there filled with loathing and contempt."_

_For the first time since they (she? he? Who was scared more?) had backed away from this thing between them, she finally saw the hurt and disappointment in his eyes._

_"Okay," he grimaced, no more moves to play._

_She regretted her words immediately. He hadn't backed away at all. It had been her, and she was scared to death to let him back in her life again._

_"That's it? You're really not coming?"_

_"I'm really not coming," he said shortly._

_"Thank you," she said, as if they had just agreed on a simple medical procedure._

_"You're welcome. Gosh, I feel so grown up." He narrowed his eyes at her and escaped as fast as he could down the hall._

***

They tumbled back unto his couch, quick to take liberties with each other, shedding their clothes even faster.

"House, I—" The words came dangerously close, bubbling over uncontrollably.

"Let me…" He began to ask, but she took his hand, taking it to his answer.

"Touch…" She begged, but she didn't have to.

"There?" He attempted, but he was already there.

She moaned, her mouth biting his shoulder blade. They were here and nothing else mattered.

Except a thunderous knock at his door.

"Ignore…it," she whispered against his cheek.

But an authoritative voice came through the door, ending all passion like a death sentence.

"Gregory House! Please open the door! It's the police."

***

_Cuddy gathered her pink notes and shoved them into her purse. She had an hour to get ready, and the caterer was already invading her space with only her nanny and Rachel to supervise. She needed to get home and take back control of her domain._

_But as soon as she saw him, she stopped in front of the glass doors, not as eager to get on the Parkway and into bumper to bumper traffic as she thought._

_Control could wait._

_Snow fell in soft crystals, and they watched it together, almost companionably._

_"It's cold out there," he said softly, all bitterness gone from earlier. He just seemed…resigned._

_"At least you have shoes that cover your toes," she said casually, as if they always talked about the weather together. As if that was what she really wanted to say._

_"So it's tonight?" He asked, even though he knew it was. He had marked it in his day planner a week ago._

_"Yep. Bad weather for it, huh?" She looked out into the snowy sky, Cameron's words on her mind._

_You should tell him._

_"Maybe you'll get lucky," he paused hesitating, as he remembered the night __they almost did get lucky, and a small smile etched across his face. Then, he broke their rule, and spoke of a time when they were happy together, "Maybe your sister will decide the roads are too dangerous to drive on."_

_"Let's keep our fingers crossed," Cuddy said nervously, and in that moment, as silence and memories passed between them, she wanted him there. She wanted him with her, his hand slipping too low on her back in front of all her guests, his sarcasm, rudeness, pain, all of it._

_But she couldn't exhale._

_"Have fun." He pushed the door open, and they turned, not looking back as the distance between them grew._


End file.
